The Charming Finns


I met a Finnish man briefly last night. Well, I didn’t so much meet him as ignore him whilst he spouted anti-American and racialist views.

The pub we were in is American-owned, frequented by English-speakers as well as Czechs, serves Thanksgiving dinner and shows American sports on tv. I was there with some friends to watch the NFL play-offs. We were a few minutes early so we were standing by the bar having a beer and a chat. I noticed a long-haired dopey guy staring at us.

Finally he came over. “Are you American?”

He showed us his Anti-Flag t-shirt. I had never heard of Anti-Flag, but this morning I learned that they are an American punk band from Pennsylvania that has strong political views. I asked the drunk where he was from.

“I am from Finland. We have a deep hatred for Americans. Even deeper than for Jews.”

Charming. When drunk people start spouting stupid shit, I ignore them. I learned a long time ago that you can’t argue with drunk people.

And Finns who visit Prague are constantly drunk. This is fact. Booze in Finland is so expensive and Finns are so depressive that they go on holiday just to drink. Are there cheap flights? How much does the beer cost? And then they drink from the moment they wake up to the moment they pass out for 4 days or a week or however long they end up staying. They are not all dicks, however.

We went to the back of the pub to watch the football. The Finn left, but he came back about 90 minutes later. I told the story of what he had said earlier to a friend who happens to be an extremely large black man. This friend just got up, walked over to the charming Finn, told him off for insulting his wife, and tossed him out the door.

I had a Finnish friend when I was at university. Kari was a basketball player. He liked to get drunk too, but not for days on end.


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