Max’s Rules

anal lube

I realise that I am a pedant when it comes to the English language. For that I blame my mother, and then probably Jono as he has reinforced my pedantry for the past 5 years. One year at the Marine ball in Prague, I noticed a printing error on the souvenir beer glasses. I showed it to Jono and he then informed the rest of our table. One of our friends asked which one of us had spotted it. Jono answered, “What difference does it make? Pedant One or Pedant Two…”

Today I was flipping around the internet and found a blog entry entitled “Deja Vu All Over Again”. I cringed. It’s not the missing diacritical marks and it’s not even that the ‘v’ in ‘vu’ and the ‘o’ in ‘over’ should both be small. It’s the whole cliché thing that really gets to me, and the fact that people repeat the same stupidity over and over again without thinking and without realising how retarded they sound.

Another popular utterance that I abhor is “anyhoo”. I think the first person I ever heard use that bastardised word was Big Sister’s first husband, and he was an idiot. But I do hear intelligent people use it, and I really don’t understand why. It’s not cute and it’s not clever, it just sounds ignorant.

I believe that educated people should not say “ain’t”. I believe in good grammar and enunciation. I don’t approve of people who speak too quickly and I don’t agree with sms shorthand.

My rules, I make them up.

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