Butt Smuggler

butt smuggler


I know that airport security is no laughing matter, and I know that inserting things in your arse can be dangerous. Nevertheless, I cannot stop giggling.

It was not the headline that made me laugh out loud, although clearly it captured my attention:

LAX passenger hides objects in his body; bomb squad called

The bit that has truly brightened my day is this:

Al-Maliki, a former security guard, told screeners that he knew what had triggered the alarm and proceeded to remove items from his rectum, including a rock, chewing gum and thin wire filament.

You just can’t make this stuff up.


6 Responses to Butt Smuggler

  1. knottyboy says:

    I don’t know what bothers me more. The picture above showing how to spread someone’s ass apart for rectal inpection or that this nut job told security that the rock in his ass was from another planet. Hate to be the one to tell you there mister weirdo…so is your brain.
    I’m now considering tatts on my arse of arrows showing the proper alignment for a ‘good time’. What do you think? Bit conservative don’t you think?

  2. Evil da Pig says:

    Maybe his pants didn’t have pockets? And his chewing gum tastes like ass, not because it’s been up his butt, but because it was wintergreen.

  3. Evil da Pig says:

    P.S. I recognize the glasses for the “No Glasses” warning, but what’s the other symbol? No stubby condoms? No deep yarmulkes? No defective butterfly nets? Tell me what it is! It’s driving me batty. (It was a short drive)

  4. Same Old A-Hole says:

    Of course the rock is from another planet. It’s clearly from Uranus.

  5. Max says:

    knotty – I think tattoos on your bum sound like a really good idea. Plus, it will provide added mirth for bystanders when it is your turn for a butt probe at the airport.

    Pigman – something I couldn’t figure out was whether the gum would still have been in its wrapper or if it was abc gum. Which would you put up your butt?

    And I am sorry that I don’t know what that other symbol is and I apologise if the illustration has caused any sort of emotional or mental distress to anyone. Maybe I should have a disclaimer at the top: Read at your own risk.

  6. Max says:

    Asshole, I don’t know why your comments got caught in the spam net. I despammed them, so hopefully that won’t happen again.

    Anyway – from Uranus – that’s funny. I don’t know how more people didn’t think of that.

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