More public lactation


Edouard Manet

I would like to share an email I received from a friend of mine in LA. Eleanor teaches at an elementary school.

My dear Max,

I think of you many days. For instance today there was a girl in our story named Maxine. Not exact, but still… However, I so wished you had been with me yesterday. I was reminded of your breastfeeding blog entry.

I had detention duty which takes place in the cafeteria of my school. You can already tell this isn’t going in a good direction. I was tending the 10 or so first graders who had committed some crime against the school so heinous as to lose them 15 minutes of play time. It was just me and the kids until a group of parents showed up for the awards assembly that would immediately follow. As I patrolled the center aisle looking for whisperers, I happened to glance toward the parents and there it was, a lactating mother with her very sizable boob being sucked on. IN THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA!!!! I understand that the cafeteria is a place for eating, but oh my god. I called in reinforcements. The principal is a male so he brought further reinforcements of the female kind and I excused the children brushing off the one’s “Teacher, teacher, look” comment.

I heard later that our fearless leader was a bit taken aback when the lactater popped the brat off her tit and failed to tuck it back in while said child walked away. The whole thing was wrong on so many levels not the least of which is that I have now seen a boob other than my own at work, and I teach elementary school.

Love and assurances that if I expose my breasts in public it is never while there is a child attached,


PS See you soon.


10 Responses to More public lactation

  1. Same Old A-Hole says:

    Yeah, boobs!

  2. Mata Hara Kiri says:

    I understand that baring one’s bosom in a school isn’t exactly “kosher”, but your friend sounds like she’s making a tad too much of a fuss about it. Also, what’s wrong with breastfeeding after the kids learn to walk? Isn’t it recommended to breastfeed until 2 years of age?

  3. Max says:

    MHK – you have to take Eleanor’s experience in the context of my original breastfeeding post. I recommend that you follow the link and read that. I said everything there is to be said over there. And I don’t care if a mother breastfeeds till her kid is 40 – I just don’t want to see it at any age.

  4. Ricardo says:

    I remember a director of a major London insurance brokers sitting at her desk in an open plan office and affixing her new infant to tit whilst getting on with her business day. Aside from fulfilling an essential function of child rearing, I didn’t feel at the time it was appropriate for an office and I still don’t, even though we have a kid now.

    Lactation is not a spectator sport!

    There are other publically-executed baby-related functions that are far more repugnant, of course!

  5. Niquemg says:

    It is my experience (mother of two) that the women who choose to breastfeed run the risk of turning into lactating Nazis. I still (fondly) remember the young women who approached me as I was giving my oldest a bottle in a supermarket and subjected me to a lecture about how I was ruining him, etc. My response was to ask her if she was related to me in some unknown way, and if she wasn’t my mother, sister, aunt or grandmother, to keep her FUCKING opinions to herself. BTW, said child is now 8 years old, 5 feet tall and 80 pounds & in excellent health!

  6. cb says:

    That’s just fucked up.

    I know breast feeding is supposed to be natural and shit, but I don’t want to see it. And i don’t think any child should WALK away from it.

    If I were the principle I would have invited said mother to drop her drawers and give all the 1st graders a coochie lesson while she was at it.

    My god.

  7. Max says:

    Nique – hooray for the bottle! I’m flying to LA on the 28th, by the way. I haven’t really told anyone, but I hope to see you. I’ll be there till 11 April.

    CB – exactly.

    Ricardo – quite right, there is a place and a time for everything. See you when I get back to Praha.

  8. Miss Mickey says:

    Generally, when we try to justify something by saying, “But it’s natural!”, it’s because that thing is gross and disgusting.

    Whenever the drama teacher, Mrs. Dewulf, stumbled upon students making out in the hallway at my high school, she’d walk up to them, leering and panting, and ask: “MMMMMM…can I have some too?” Maybe some variation of that is called for when one is accosted by the sight of a service boob in action.

  9. lactation lover says:

    Is it just me, or is it when ever i see warm milk flowing out of a womans breast, i just get a flaming hard-on!

    I mean i pay lactating women to let me suck the milk out of their breasts daily.I love the warm trickle of breast milk flowing down my cheek. And if im really horny i fill up a seringe full of it and insert it into my anus, and then beat off! That really gets me off! Thank You.

  10. breastfeeding…

    […]More public lactation « The Unabating Enlightenment of Max[…]…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: