Londonistan 2

eiffel crescent


I had seen the headline, but only read the story later when Monkey sent me the link.

Muhammad is now second only to Jack as the most popular name for baby boys in Britain and is likely to rise to No 1 by next year, a study by The Times has found. The name, if all 14 different spellings are included, was shared by 5,991 newborn boys last year, beating Thomas into third place, followed by Joshua and Oliver.

I was a little bit surprised, but then I thought that perhaps British Muslims were like Czechs – i.e. not very imaginative when it comes to naming their children. I continued reading.

Overall, Muslims account for 3 per cent of the British population, about 1.5 million people. However, the Muslim birthrate is roughly three times higher than the non Muslim one.

That kind of scared me. But the thing is that if people are trying to take over the world by making lots of babies, there is nothing we can do about it. I am certainly not going to compete with them.

Then I read an article that my brother had found called “Is London’s future Islamic?” It started off kind of funny, referring to the “Islamic Revolution of 2021” and describing a public execution in Trafalgar Square. But then there was a change from the “hysterical, right-wing nightmare of a future Muslim London” to what the writer thinks could be the positive reality of a future Muslim London.

Public health

The writer’s claim is that the kneeling and bowing in prayer 5 times per day keeps Muslims fit, and the requirement to wash their hands and feet before prayer would contribute to public hygiene.

Like the rest of us don’t wash or exercise.

“…turning all the city’s pubs into juice bars would have a massive positive effect on public health.”

But the fact is that fruit juice is mostly just highly concentrated sugar with a few vitamins – not really that healthy at all, especially not in large quantities. Watch the incidence of adult onset diabetes skyrocket.


The writer thinks that Muslims are greener than the rest of us because Mohammed taught them to look after nature. But I don’t know whether or not the world’s great conservationists have been Muslim. I just don’t think it’s something that you can put down to religion.


“Presently, Muslim students perform less well than non-Muslim students.” But, the writer asserts, in a Muslim London, somehow magically all children will be transformed into scholars.

Because I hear that education is first-rate in Muslim countries, especially for girls. Of course, kids, if you have ever been caught stealing, you won’t even be able to hold your pencil.


Muslim dietary laws will cure us all of obesity and attention deficit disorder.

Because there is no such thing as a fat Muslim. Or because we’ll all be dead from diabetes from the sugar in all that damn fruit juice.

Inter-faith relations

Apparently I’ll be okay because I’m a Jew and we will be protected as people of the book. Same goes for Christians. I can’t wait to hear what my brother has to say about this – I’m prepared for a long rant about the shortcomings of dhimmi law.

And even if there really is fair treatment of people of other faiths – what happens to me when the religion police find out that I am an atheist? Execution? A lashing? Public stoning? The writer doesn’t say a word about how people of no faith would fare.


The writer mentions Shazia Mirza as his example of a Muslim comic. I have seen Shazia Mirza live, and she is really good. But somehow I don’t think her jokes would be so funny if they were muffled behind her niqab or burqa. And she wouldn’t get most of them past the censors anyway. I guess she would have to stop performing. Stand-up comedy is not a very modest occupation.

Social justice

Read ‘forced payment of welfare tax’.

Race relations

“Under Islam all ethnicities are equal. Once you have submitted to Allah you are a Muslim – it doesn’t matter what colour you are. End of story.”

That is the end of the article, and also where we finally get the truth – that we would all be expected to convert to Islam. To “submit” to Allah – the writer could not have chosen a more offensive word.

What an Islamic London would amount to then, or an Islamic anywhere else, is just a particularly religious brand of totalitarianism. Racism would not be allowed, but it would still exist – it always does. Women would have no rights, and our daily activities would be limited to cooking and cleaning and looking after children. There would be no booze.

The one remaining existential question of my life would be ‘suicide or suicide bomb?’



Is London’s Future Islamic?

Muhammad is No 2 in boy’s names


One Response to Londonistan 2

  1. Same Old A-Hole says:

    Today is, coincidentally, the anniversary of the death of “the prophet” (fleas pee upon him).

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