I got some family news in an email from my mom this evening. She told me that my cousin Nick is going to become a dad in a few months, his girlfriend has moved in with him, but they have not set a date for a wedding, and the girlfriend is Hispanic and a year or two older than Nick. My mom also told me that Nick’s mom is “very upset.”

I sent an email to Nick straight away. I wanted to express my cousinly solidarity because his mom’s reaction made me angry.

Nick is around 37, I think. He has a couple of degrees and a good job, owns his own house, and is basically a responsible grown-up. Nick is therefore the kind of person that should have a baby if he wants one. I am going on the assumption that he does, and therefore this should all be happy news.

Nick’s mom had been thrilled when Nick’s older brothers had kids, but they were both already married and their wives were nice Jewish girls.

The reason I got angry was because I thought Nick’s mom’s reaction was idiotic. Imagine this: you are a mom. Your son calls you and tells you that he is going to be a dad and he is happy about it. You love your son and he is happy, therefore you should be happy too. Why would you look for reasons to be unhappy? Especially when those reasons are petty and immaterial.

As I wrote to Nick: Why can’t people just be happy about stuff? There is enough shit in this world without looking for something extra – and meaningless! – to piss you off.


13 Responses to Huh?

  1. aunt cookie says:

    so i am thinking this is one of Myrna’s boys – but I didn’t know she had one named Nick.
    well you know the drill and so do I – having married outside “our religion.”

    I remember wearing a WWJD pin because I thought – this isn’t about a religion but rather being spiritual – doing the right thing – kind of like a string around your finger to remember something (i wish i could remember where i put my passport).

    Not everyone is “free” enough to fly from the boundaries and restrictions of how they were raised – I feel sorrier for Nick’s mom then I do for Nick.

  2. Max says:

    No, Cookie, she doesn’t have one called Nick. I usually disguise names – protecting the innocent and all that. Nick is a pseudonym for M’s youngest son.

    And I don’t feel sorry for either of them. Little Sister and Asshole are here in Prague with me now and we have talked about it. We all agree that M will come round to it and love the little kid and forgive the girlfriend for not being exactly what M had wanted for Nick. I only question why she has to go through the whole bullshit routine of her predicted behaviour. How someone was raised is not an excuse for not thinking for oneself, or for not being rational.

  3. aunt cookie says:

    If one has never questioned their parents or ever stepped out of the box
    during their growing up period how would you ever expect them to be able to do that
    later when hardening of the cerebral arteries has set in. I don’t think M has ever done anything other than be the dutiful daughter and wife. In her family growing up being a good baker had more importance than having an education.

  4. aunt cookie says:

    I don’t know who Asshole is but I certainly am curious.

  5. Dane says:

    …and the Post-Adolescent-Uterus Saaays:

    aww. baaaaaaaby. Damnit, when do I get one?

  6. Max says:

    Aunt Cookie, sometimes you are thick (no disrespect intended). Asshole is your nephew-in-law from Oregon.

    Dane, you have to wait at least 10 years.

  7. aunt cookie says:

    i suspected as much but since he reads your blog thought i might be mistaken.
    once we marry them that seems a generic title.

  8. Dane says:

    10 years, says Max. Maybe 8, says my brain. TOMORROW! cries my body.

  9. Same Old A-Hole says:

    Ah, but Aunt Cookie, there’s really only one Asshole. The rest are pretenders.

  10. aunt cookie says:

    even though i have felt i invented “politically incorrect” i felt it was not always circumspect to be quite so vocal in my observations about family members except when it is my very own sister – who each day seems more like a caricature from L’ll Abner.

    I need to find my passport I feel strong need of a trip to Prague

  11. Max says:

    Find your passport, Aunt Cookie, because if you have to get a new one, it’s going to have a chip in it. I have a hammer.

  12. aunt cookie says:

    i have been going to great lengths to try and find it –
    last weekend i took apart my file cabinet and moved the refrigerator.

    I am going to give it til the end of August and then I am going to apply for a new one
    i have devoted a lot of time to cleaning to try to unearth it….

    i have subsequently lost my blue tooth which i don’t care a tinker’s dam about – since it is just the money to replace and not the time and principle of the thing

    and previously lost a special cord for my convection oven

    none of these things have appeared in the dryer with the odd sock

  13. celinka says:

    Not to insult anyone but if it’s his first child, considering their age you would think mom would be thrilled…..I know mine would.
    As the Dalai Lama keeps saying everyone is here for the same purpose to to reach ultimate happiness. How we get there is another story, so yes just be happy about stuff.

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