I got some family news in an email from my mom this evening. She told me that my cousin Nick is going to become a dad in a few months, his girlfriend has moved in with him, but they have not set a date for a wedding, and the girlfriend is Hispanic and a year or two older than Nick. My mom also told me that Nick’s mom is “very upset.”
I sent an email to Nick straight away. I wanted to express my cousinly solidarity because his mom’s reaction made me angry.
Nick is around 37, I think. He has a couple of degrees and a good job, owns his own house, and is basically a responsible grown-up. Nick is therefore the kind of person that should have a baby if he wants one. I am going on the assumption that he does, and therefore this should all be happy news.
Nick’s mom had been thrilled when Nick’s older brothers had kids, but they were both already married and their wives were nice Jewish girls.
The reason I got angry was because I thought Nick’s mom’s reaction was idiotic. Imagine this: you are a mom. Your son calls you and tells you that he is going to be a dad and he is happy about it. You love your son and he is happy, therefore you should be happy too. Why would you look for reasons to be unhappy? Especially when those reasons are petty and immaterial.
As I wrote to Nick: Why can’t people just be happy about stuff? There is enough shit in this world without looking for something extra – and meaningless! – to piss you off.