I have now had a puppy for 10 days. I got Hugo when he was just 8 weeks old, still very much a baby – even in dog time. I didn’t know anything about caring for or training a puppy, but it’s amazing how fast you catch on. My colleagues and friends have shared their wealth of puppy experience, and Boris gave me the Perfect Puppy book. So I have learned to look after my puppy, but – more to the point – I have learned a lot about myself.
- I do not enjoy having something (or someone) 100% dependent on me. As much as I adore Hugo, I can’t help resenting him. I don’t mind getting out of bed at 5am to take him outside – the sun is already up and I love mornings. I like going for walks and I like him sleeping at my feet whilst I work. Hugo has even come to pubs with me. What I resent is my loss of freedom in general because I always have to consider Hugo’s needs and, most of all, that I have only managed to go to the gym once in the last 10 days. That is not okay.
- I will never again wonder whether my decision to not have children was the right one. My experience with Hugo has shown me that I am not maternal. I don’t have the requisite patience and I am a bit too self-centred, amongst many other less than attractive qualities, I am sure. I like children and I like puppies – but that doesn’t mean that I have to have one of my own.
- Hugo has melted my icy heart. I seem to have regained touch with my emotions over the past 10 days, and I have been willing to show weakness and need, and to ask for help. And a puppy is not what I need. Back to the search for a real boyfriend…
- Watching a puppy learn and grow is wonderful, and the speed at which Hugo is doing both is astonishing.
However, when all is said and done, I want my life back. I want to get up at 6am and go straight to the gym. I want to be free to go wherever and whenever I want to go and not need to wait for someone to look after my puppy. I am sure it would be deeply rewarding to raise Hugo to become a companionable adult dog, but it’s just not for me.
I had had Hugo exactly one week when I realised I would have to consider giving him up. I took action the next day – posting on expats.cz and starting to tell people. I am hoping to find people that will give him the love and attention that he deserves within the next day or two.
I am glad to have had my brief puppy-raising experience and I feel my life is a little richer for Hugo having been in it. But I really am done.